Transformations

Transformations....the first thing that popped in my head when I saw the word was Bumblebee from the Transformers. I'm laughing right now, because technically that isn't quite off. Chocolate on my Cranium's Wordfull Wednesday is about "Transformations, more specifically, a transformation that has happened to you."

So I guess the question is...have I transformed since I made my goal in January? My goal for the year is "Choose Wisely". I can't say that I choose wisely at all times (I am human after all), but I sure have tried.

For instance, my oldest son for some odd reason likes to rearrange things. Usually it's in his bedroom and if it doesn't work he moves it back. However, last week he chose to start rearranging my kitchen cabinets. Now, I'm a little OCD and I like my stuff EXACTLY where I've put it. I do have them do chores which involve them putting dishes away, and of course things don't always get back to where they belong. For the most part however everything is where it belongs. He also hid dishes throughout the house because he didn't want to put them away. I was MAD, I was frustrated and boy did I want to yell at him. In the past I probably would have. I am a yeller by nature, which upsets me and I have to work REALLY hard to not yell.

Instead of yelling at him I calmly told him he had kitchen duty this week as well and took away any tv privledges he may have had (we don't get tv reception so really that was limited to movies and since it's nice outside they get a movie few and far between). I think I shocked myself because later that night when I was talking to my husband I told him I was proud of myself.

I don't want my kids to have it be their "nature" to yell when they get upset. It brings contention into our home and it just doesn't feel good. I love my kids and I want them to know that...even when I'm upset.

So, back to Transformations. I kind of feel like I'm being a Transformer right now. The urge to yell is there, but I am trying to transform myself into a softer spoken "Mad Woman".
I guess you could say I have succeded in my goal, although I have a long way to go. I'm not necessarily completely happy with my progress, but it is progress nonetheless, so I think I'll put a stamp of approval on my progress. Maybe even a Smiley Face!

I've also uncovered something I thought I wasn't in the last 6 months. I have never been the type of person to instantly like people. At first glance or conversation I usually have an instant dislike for a person. Call it what you will, but it's been more of a self preservation tactic. I've been hurt in the past by people I considered trustworthy that I didn't know very long and so I usually withdraw into my shell. When my husband was in school I worked so much and was going to school at the same time so I didn't have a whole lot of time for friends and I only have a couple of good ones from Iowa. Then we moved to Washington state and we lived on 70 acres and so I was fairly isolated and didn't have to have many friends because I didn't want to. Then we moved again last year to be closer to family. I am once again back "in town" and close enough to have friends. I have started making friends, and have actually made an effort which is somewhat surprising. It may have to do with the fact that my husband admonished me that I needed to like it here because this is our last planned moved.

I have discovered that I really do like people and that it doesn't do me any favors to not like someone. It shocked me a little bit, but truthfully I have enjoyed getting to know new people and being a little bit more outgoing!