Our marriage hasn't always been fun and easy, but then again whos is? I was barely 21 when we were married and he was almost 22. We were young. Not as young as some, but young none the less. I think I went into our marriage expecting a lot of things just to be perfect. And suprise, suprise they weren't. I was suprised though. Movies show how easy it is. I very rarely heard my parents argue so the first time we argued I was shocked with a capital S! Fighting, we weren't always going to get along?
When we were first married we lived close to family and depended greatly upon them. Then we moved to Iowa so he could finish his degree. With no family within 4 hours of where we lived we quickly learned to depend upon each other. How does that relate to unity you may ask? And since that's the topic today over at Chocolate on My Cranium's Wordful Wednesday I guess I should move on with it.
There are a lot of things we have agreed to do around the house that don't work for others and it started while I was working full time and going to school full time and all he was doing was going to school. It's changed over the years due to circumstances like I am a stay at home mom now.
For example, he does the dishes. I typically cook, but sometimes he does too (he's a FABULOUS cook!). On occasion I do the dishes as I'm cooking. I should more often but I figure trying to keep the kids happy while I'm cooking is good enough..Oh and my 3 year-old likes to help when I cook so making sure he's safe while in the kitchen is more important to me than dishes. I do the laundry and he vaccumes.
Once when an older sister at Church heard that Stuart does dishes she flat out started laughing. Truthfully I was a little embarrased, and then I realized that she wasn't part of my marriage. It's between the two of us. What works for us doesn't work for everyone.
I hate for him to do laundry, but some husbands do laundry. Mine also changes most diapers when he is home. I think he figures I'm alone enough doing diapers during the school year that he is kind enough to do them for me when he is home. I'll add a little bit to that...we use cloth diapers so that makes it even more special to me that he's willing to help!
I make sure the bed gets made everyday (usually because he doesn't care if it's made), and he takes the trash out. The list could really go on, but we've become a unified "machine". We know what it takes to make our home run, and our marriage work. Although as far as the marriage part goes it's constantly evolving, and as much as I hate to say that it's true. Our kids change everyday which means our marriage changes just a little bit to cope with the changes. We've also changed over the years and how we stay unified has changed in a lot of small ways. Right now we have just been thrown into a situation that we aren't thrilled about, but we'll make it through because we cleave to each other.
I'm sure as we age and our children get older our "roles" in the house will change again. It's nice knowing that we do it all together in our own way right now though!
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7 comments:
I couldn't live without a husband who helped with dishes
The dishes got passed to him when I was pregnant with my first because I was too big to reach across - he has lovingly claimed that job as his ever since and I love him all the more for it!
Bless his heart he can do cloth diapers! My husband tried. He really did. But it just wasn't worth it to clean up two messes: the baby's and his throw up. Mr. FR can wade through knee deep cow manure in the corral, preg test cows, give them C-sections, etc without one bit of trouble but as soon as it's a baby's mess his stomach turns inside out. ☺ I think it is hilarious.
Tyler spent the last two days doing EVERYTHING around the house -dishes, cooking, homework, errands, laundry, you name it - because I was too sick to get out of bed (almost literally). How would I survive without him????
gotta count your blessings when a man does "women's work"! I love my man for that. It truly makes it so much easier to be unified and loving to eachother. Thanks for this post!
I like how you put its your house and you do what works! Thats true...you always do what works for you even if it means that the husband helps with the house once in a while! Great post
It's so true that a marriage evolves almost daily. Keeps it exciting, I guess! My own dad never did dishes my whole life, then when they served a mission together he took on that job and still does it. I think it's very sweet.
So true "what works for us doesn't work for everyone!"
I found that with each child my husband picked up more and more responsibilities. His latest is making the bed each morning. I am always the first one out of bed in the morning and often I didn't get back to the bedroom until midmorning and I so disliked seeing the bed not made. Somehow he took on the task last fall and such a little thing makes my heart leap for joy each morning when I walk in the room and see the bed made. Little acts as these really keep love going strong!
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